Question description

Jacob (Israel) had two wives "Genesis 29": Leah, whom he didn't love, and Rachel, whom he loved. Despite Jacob's lack of love for Leah, God blessed their marriage. Leah bore seven children and lived longer, while Rachel had two and died in childbirth. Key roles in Israel's history came from Leah's children: Levi (the priesthood) and Judah (the Messianic line). Rachel's son Joseph led Israel into Egypt, which later led to slavery, and his descendants, Ephraim and Manasseh, became idol worshippers.

God favored Leah's marriage despite the absence of love from Jacob.

Given these examples, what should believers prioritize when seeking a spouse?

Thank you.

Answer description

First of all, before I begin, I would like to clarify two things. There is no perfect spouse. We are all flawed, sinful creatures, and have faults that make the dream of finding someone who will make us constantly happy, an impossible thought. And Scripture offers no checklist of things we are to look for in finding a mate. I also find the phrase "selecting a spouse" a bit inaccurate. Finding the person who fulfills your life is a process involving two people, not an open market where we go to choose someone. But all is not bad and there is hope and much wisdom in the Word that can help us.

Before readiness for marriage becomes a burning desire, we must ensure that our relationship with God is the top priority in our lives. Not "A" priority, but "THE" priority (Matthew 6:33). As you seek Him, He will prepare you (II Corinthians 6:14).

The person you are seeking MUST be a Christian with a Godly character. These are things to look for that would point toward this understanding:

A) A lifestyle of studying and obeying God's Word.

B) Moral purity, humility, and teachability.

C) Concern for others rather than always satisfying self.

D) Respect for authority and commitment to family.

Most relationships begin with friendship and amid that friendship an understanding that the two people are compatible. These are requirements because you are seeking someone who is going to be your partner for life. Observe how the individual is around friends and family. If this person treats you differently than he does his friends, BEWARE!! His relaxed moments around those he has been close to for a long time are who this person is, no matter how they are treating you now. Does this person respect your strengths and perspectives? If your views differ, is this individual willing to consider your points of view? And are your Biblical perspectives similar? A conflict in beliefs will inevitably lead to larger disagreements. So watch for these stumbling blocks.

Finally, don't be in a hurry. Things that are rushed almost always do not end well. You are making a lifelong decision in finding that person who God has prepared for you. God is never in a hurry, so why should you be? Always remember, that God's timing is perfect. This person will be your partner in all things as long as you both shall live. But .... they cannot take the place of Christ or fulfill as He does. So above all else, keep your Savior central in your life and trust Him for everything else. (Psalm 37:4) And as God opens your eyes to see the path and person you are meant to be with, I pray His blessings will be showered upon you.

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